Great Britain star reveals suicidal ‘darkness’ in heartbreaking admission

Former Great Britain forward Josh Jones has revealed he came close to taking his own life as a result of the debilitating effects of head injuries sustained during his career.

The 31-year-old was diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) after being forced to retire in 2023 due to persistent concussion-related issues.

This degenerative brain disease is linked to repeated blows to the head and is associated with an increased risk of severe mental illness.

Jones is now among the youngest and most high-profile figures listed as claimants in a concussion lawsuit against the sport’s authorities.

In his first interview since quitting the game, the ex-St Helens winner told BBC Sport he considered suicide while he was still an active professional.

“It breaks my heart to share this, but the day before the start of a season, I was contemplating ending my life, and that is how dark it got,” he said.

The former second-rower described the depth of his despair as his personality began to change.

“I sat there for hours contemplating [it] because I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I felt a burden to my family.”

‘Terrified’ by emotional instability

Jones recalled a specific harrowing incident where his wife, Olivia, managed to calm him down and bring him home safely.

Astonishingly, the former international took to the field to play a competitive match the very next day.

Now residing in Malaysia with his family, the 2019 Super League finalist detailed the physical symptoms that plagued his daily life, including hand tremors while performing simple tasks.

“I noticed that if I was doing simple tasks, like making my children a bottle of water… I just couldn’t stop my shaking,” he explained.

The condition progressively worsened to include severe headaches, brain fog, and an acute sensitivity to light and noise.

“The scariest thing I find is being unable to regulate my emotions. That terrifies me,” Jones admitted.

He revealed that he copes by isolating himself, a strategy that has admittedly come at the detriment of his marriage and friendships.

‘Impossible to ignore’

The toll on the family unit was confirmed by his wife, Olivia, who witnessed the transformation firsthand.

She described the changes in the former Huddersfield Giants player as “very gradual at first” before becoming overwhelming.

“He went from being confident, energetic, and present to being withdrawn, irritable, forgetful – and he just seemed to be constantly in pain,” she told BBC Sport.

Jones, who made 246 appearances in the top flight, has taken a firm stance on the sport’s future within his own household.

Reflecting on his diagnosis and the suffering endured, he stated he would “never” let his children play the game.

If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article, help and support is available via the BBC Action Line.